Friday, November 21, 2008

My Babies, My Life

I post to my blog all the time about things that are going on in mine and my children's lives but I would like to take a different route with this entry and just take a moment to speak to each of my children. I love all of you and each of you hold a special place in my heart. I am going to start with the youngest and move my way up.

Nicholas, you are mommies little man. It took me years of trying to get a little boy and on April 23rd of this year, you came into my life. You are special to me for several reasons, being my only boy, being the last chance I will have with the infant times, and many more reasons. Holding you in my arms, watching while you are sleeping, kissing your belly, I would not trade these things for the world. Your big blue eyes and smiles warm my heart. I love that fact that at 7 months you already display such a loving nature. The way that you grab my hair on both side of my head and pull me close to you so that you can love one me just makes my day! I love you with all my heart and could not imagine a day without you. You will always be my "Turd Muffin Man".

Alexis, you are my miracle baby. You are the child that the doctors told me I would never have and on September 17th, 2 years ago, you proved them wrong. You brought a joy into my heart that I had been wanting for so long. I cannot believe how much you have grown and how much of a little lady you have become. Everyday you surprise me with something new. Your lovely green eyes and your Shirley Temple curls make you the beautiful princess you are. I thank God everyday for your kind and sharing personality. I love the way that at 2 years old you think about other people all the time. You constantly want to take care of Nicholas and are always trying to share your food, your toys and everything else you have with anyone that is around. I love the way that you play with my hair when you are sick, tired or just plain upset. I love you more than words could ever express, you gave my life purpose. You will always be my "Buritto Baby".

Brittany, you are my best friend. You came into my life at a time when I was not sure if I was really ready to be a mother. I was only a month away from being 18 and was a child myself. But on March 14th, 1993 you came into my life and I would not change a thing about your arrival! You and I have grown up together and developed a bond that nobody will ever come between. You have been my rock when the rest of the world had me blowing in the wind and for this I would like to tell you "Thank you". I know sometimes I am a little hard on you but it is only because I care about you and I know that you are an above average kind of person. You have been such a big help the past 2 years with Alexis and now with Nicholas. And while I know they try your patience everyday, you are wonderful with both of them and they love you so much. You will never know how much I love you and how much I need you in my life! You will always be my "Britt-Bratt".

Ashley, you came into my life October 9th of this year, less than a week after your 18th birthday. I chose you to be my daughter and that makes you EXTREMELY special. How many children can say that they were chosen! And while I consider each of my children blessings from God, I consider you my gift from God. I feel like God brought you to me because he knew how much I wanted more children and he knew how much you needed a mother and I thank God for this gift! I would also like to thank you for chosing me. You will never know how special that makes me feel. While I am sorry that I missed the past 18 years, I promise to be there for the rest of your life. I look forward to watching you grow into a woman and being their every step of the way! I love you as though I gave birth to you myself and from the moment you entered my home and until the day I leave this world, I have and will consider you my own. You may not share my blood but you will always share my heart!

I want everyone who reads my blog to know and understand that these four children define who I am. They are my purpose in life and the reason I exist in this world. I do not know why God considered me so special that he would bless me 4 times, but I will never be able to thank him enough. I go to bed every night expressing my gratitude. I get up in the middle of the night and go to each of my babies and say a little pray over them while they sleep. I am lucky to have some of the best children in the world and I would not trade even a second of my life for the world!

We should all remember that our children are each a blessing in their own way. They may not always come when we want them to, but they come when we need them to. They may not come from the fathers of our choice but when you look into their eyes and see the unconditional love that their hearst hold, how could you not thank the father for helping to give you such a marvilous treasure. They may get on what you think is your last nerve at times, but God blesses mothers with more nerves than we could ever imagine! No matter your situation which you face or have faced with your children, just remember God picked you to raise a child of his and there could be no greater honor!